How do you handle yourself mentally knowing you will gain weight during the holidays?

If you’re really upset at temporarily gaining a few pounds, just remember that your weight is not an ethical issue. You’re not poisoning babies or something equally bad.

Try to get some perspective on your situation. I mean that literally. Try to consider this problem as if it belonged to someone you care about, not you.

If you wouldn’t hate someone else for gaining 5 pounds that they’re going to lose after the holidays when they get back on track with their eating plans and workouts (or even if they don’t), then why would you hate yourself?

If it turns out that your real reason for being upset is that you’re angry at yourself for not reaching a goal or maintaining perfect self control, then I’d suggest learning some techniques for self forgiveness, and understand that if you berate yourself for not being perfect, you’re likely to have even worse results.

If you’re willing to read an article on ‘messing up,’ I suggest Stephen Guise’s article “The Hidden Cause of Downward Spirals.”

Remember: We’re not robots!

How do you come to terms with the fact that you’re just ordinary?

I was asked “How do you come to terms with the fact that you’re just ordinary?” 

My answer is: Help others.

Very few people actually do this. That means that you’ll no longer be ordinary. In fact, you may appear to be extraordinary in the eyes of those you help. You can help build houses, give blood, raise money, visit isolated folks in nursing homes, staff phone banks. The need is literally endless.

Another possible side effect of helping others is that you’ll stop worrying so much about whether or not you’re ‘just ordinary,’ or how you appear to others. Knowing that you are contributing to the world can help you worry less about how others see you. 

Do a web search on ‘volunteer opportunities near me.’ you’re almost certain to find something that appeals to you. 

What is the hardest truth you had to accept?

That I wasn’t special. I was brought up by a mom who (apparently) thought that teaching her kids that they were special would make them feel better. I don’t know what effect it had on my siblings, but I spent a lot of time expecting people to like me for my imagined special qualities.

My relationships (and my life) improved a lot once I realized that it’s how you treat others that makes you worth knowing, not your specialness.